Motherhood is a Calling, It’s a blueprint in our DNA
For as long as I can remember, my mom always has had great joy in being a mother. At a tender young age, she married my dad, a dairy farmer and rancher at the time. They lived a very humble life in Greenfield Oklahoma. Shortly after they were married, they got pregnant with my oldest sister, Donita. From the moment she was born, my mom decided to stay home to take care of her. A few years later, they had my brother Mark, then another few short years came my sister Caren and brother Don arrived. Then, 5 years later “Surprise” along came me! With 5 children in our home, my mom and dad never had a dull moment and our home was full of laughter, games and great love.
The memories I have of my growing up years are some of my absolute favorite. My parents made our home a safe place, a place where we were taught and given the value of learning to work hard, where we were corrected, usually with a switch we would pick ourselves, (mostly my ornery brother Don had to pick his own switch. I never had to do that) and a home where we were celebrated as individuals created by God. My parents were a team when it came to raising us, but since I’m writing about motherhood, I’m going to focus on what I learned from my mom. I never once doubted my mom’s love, because she showed me that daily. I remember my siblings friends and my friends would often come and hang out after school or church at our house. My mom would allow us to use our imaginations and always encouraged healthy friendships. She was always first my dads partner and alone with us, she’s our mom! She’d help us by talking with us about life issues, and of course cook our family 3 meals a day and lots of cookies. Several times I can remember jumping off the bus and finding a snack waiting for me and my siblings on our big family table.” I just remember thinking, “I’m so glad she’s mine.”
My mom fully embraced her calling as a mother. She didn’t mind being known as “the Kennedy kids mom.” She always viewed it as the most important job in the world and told us that there was nothing that she would rather do than invest in our lives. And that’s what she has done our entire lives. My family and I weren’t ranked low on a list of other things that were more important to my her. While my mom made sure that we weren’t the center of attention all the time, we never felt like we had to compete for her time or affection. Mothering isn’t the kind of job that produces a tangible monetary salary.
Spending days at home while raising children rarely receives accolades or applause from the outside world. But there’s a much smaller world that will one day be thankful for it.
The Little Moments Matter – my reflections on being a young mom
When I think back on my own young family, I remember so many little things. Each child has their own special memories. Bryant, Madison and Karson all three hold sweet and tender memories in my heart. I remember rocking my babies in the cloth pink glider rocker that I used hours upon hours just watching my little ones breathe and memorize their tiny features. I can still here the “click, click” noise that it made as it glided back and forth along with the songs I’d sing to my angels. Their sighs of comfort and their sleepy eyes would flutter as they’d react to hearing my voice. I remember teaching my kids new things and learning ABC’s– those moments when they rode that bike without training wheels and reading those first books. I remember celebrating those joyous achievements with each child and encouraging them as they struggled along the way.
Since I’m reflecting on my daughter being pregnant and motherhood, I will write about her specifically now. When I used to get up in the middle of the night to feed my daughter, I would remind myself that this specific moment mattered, no matter how tired I was. When I talk to her about things, (back then and now) I somehow knew and moreover, know today, that I was helping her to develop into the person that she is now. I’m so happy that I witnessed firsthand her discovering her hands and feet for the first time, hearing her say her first word, and watching her finally figure out how to crawl down stairs backwards. These are little things, yet they matter so much. It’s these little moments that make up life, and I didn’t want to miss them. I remember my daughter Madi calling home from time to time when she was little or spending the night away from home just to tell me how much she missed me. Or the time she’d been on a trip for close to a month, and rolling into the driveway, flinging the car door open, running into my arms when she saw me. Saying she never wanted to be away from me that long again. Tender memories. It is these memories that make “motherhood little moments” especially a mother-child relationship one of enduring love. These were moments I really needed as a mom, and our relationship was developed and enveloped in love. As a mother of adult children now, and a soon to be grandma I treasure these memory moments even deeper.
You Are Fully Equipped to be a Mother
I’ll never forget the moment when the doctor handed me my little girl just seconds after she was born. No mother ever forgets that moment. It’s unlike any other.
One moment you are the person you’ve always been, and the next moment you are keenly aware that you have forever changed. When we brought home our bundle of joy, that sweet daughter for the first time, I laid her on the bed to change her diaper. When I saw how absolutely tiny and helpless she was, I started to cry. Maybe it was hormones, but moreover, I suddenly became completely aware and overwhelmed at the reality that now I had two little people who were utterly dependent on me, and this new baby girl…in every way depended completely upon me. I began to doubt whether I was capable of such a huge responsibility with a toddler and a new baby. As I battled my tears, the words that I’d needed to hear, my mom stepped into the bedroom and said, “God has fully equipped you to be the mother that your children need Teresa” the hug, the encouragement lifted the fear, and set me back into my role as a mom. As I watched my tiny little girl squirm and cry on the bed, I picked her up and began to rock her and my son Bryant curled up next to us and patted his baby sister. It’s a memory I will never forget, my sweet babies cuddled up in my arms.
Because of my mother, I know in the crazy moments, in the hard moments, and in the very best of moments, that there is no better mother for my children than me. I definitely was not a perfect mother, gosh far from it. Even though I stumbled along the way raising my kids, I don’t have to doubt in my mind whether or not I was “cut out” to be a mom. And destined to be Bryant, Madison and Karson’s mom.
Embrace the Calling; Don’t Struggle Against It
There are hard days being a mom. There just are. There are days when kids get sick, they don’t take naps, they have meltdowns in public, or things just generally get chaotic. But I learned, that in order to be a patient good mother, you have to embrace it whole-heartedly. You can’t be the mom your child needs while constantly wishing you were somewhere else. I’ve heard my mom say so many times, “Don’t get distracted by stuff,” and my dad would say “things are just things” life is what matters.
I’ve told my kids growing up many times that, “Anything worth doing is hard.” What if we as mothers stopped struggling to be something else other than what we are? What if we embraced the joys along with the hard times of motherhood instead of struggling to be or do something else? Motherhood is humbling and it does take sacrifice. Yet as I’ve learned from my mom and from my own experience those who are willing to walk that road will reap great rewards in unconditional love. I cherish my relationships with my mom and my children.
What I want my expecting daughter to know is this…“yes, embrace every second of your pregnancy and your baby.” “Take all the ups and downs in stride.” And really, it’s like that with anything. If you don’t embrace the challenge with open arms, you will experience discontentment that leads to heartache and bitterness.
These years Madi that you will spend changing diapers and teaching your son will be the most rewarding moments of your life. I know you are aware of your calling as a mommy and it’s going to be one of your most important roles. You have always believed that this would be in your future. And because you believe that, your reward as a mother will be a blessing. I believe that for you too sweetheart.
And me?
Well, I’m a mother, just like my mom. And there’s nothing else I’d rather be but now…I have the blessing and joy of becoming a Mimi and watching my own daughter become a mommy.
Love you precious child,
Mom
“Healing Anatomy of the Spirit” Blog 